The single biggest piece of advice I have for women who hope to date more successfully (as in, actually attract a good, high-quality partner) is this: “Date with your eyes closed.”


What do I mean by this?

I don’t mean actually closing your eyes.

I mean look beyond anything superficial that can be seen by your eyes in a prospective partner and date (height, hair, wardrobe, place of employment, etc.) and instead *sense* for those qualities that would be unseen by the eyes but are so darn critical for successful, long-term romantic relationship: honor, integrity, kindness, compassion, generosity, selflessness, etc..

When you date as if your eyes are closed, you’ll be looking for qualities that move beyond the Tinder-esque swiping, and instead seeking out someone of quality.

Of course, in our age of online dating, pictures and perceived attractiveness are inevitably what draw us to most dating candidates.

So I challenge my clients to widen their dating beyond those they are initially attracted to as an experiment in finding other good, high-quality partners who may possess qualities that are unseen by the eyes and that they wouldn’t be initially drawn to.

And finally, I remind my clients that relationships take time to unfold, it takes time to get to know someone and learn more about who they are and to sense those invisible but critical qualities.

So perhaps give that person you wouldn’t normally give a second or third chance those chances and see if that provides any more good information for you.

And PS: This is a great tip to employ if you’re already in a long-term relationship. Date your partner with your “eyes closed” all over again and see how and what shifts for you in terms of your attraction and connection to them.

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