Here are some tips to help you cope:
Tip #1: Please know that your feelings are normal and natural and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way!
It’s a very common experience that so many 20- and 30-something women and men feel, especially around wedding season time!
It’s really hard feeling like you’re the one who’s being left out, that your life is standing still while everyone else’s seems to be moving on.
Perusing through Facebook and Instagram and seeing post after post of shiny engagement ring photos can be really triggering, bringing up feelings of jealousy, sadness, and fear that this may not happen for you.
Tip #2: It’s important that you take care of yourself if you’re feeling triggered.
Ways you can take care of yourself might include taking a break from social media for a while;
Maybe it may mean not attending any more engagement parties;
Or perhaps it will mean re-committing to a daily gratitude journaling practice to help notice what’s going well in your life regardless of this piece (being engaged) happening for you;
Or maybe you want to use your feelings of jealousy or sadness as motivation to get actionable and get back in the dating scene or work on how you date and do relationships;
Or perhaps you will just need some solid escapist Netflix time with a show like Stranger Things where engagements are the last thing on anyone’s mind!
Whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, do it!
Tip #3: Get the support you need from someone you feel safe to talk to.
Look, feeling left out and scared that the thing you’re longing for (getting engaged) may not happen feels hard.
You need to really have compassion for yourself around this and also check in with yourself and see what you need to take care of yourself if this is happening to you.
And importantly, if you can, talk about your feelings with someone safe and trusted. Whether this is a dear friend or a trained professional, being able to share how you’re actually doing and what’s going on for you can be therapeutic in and of itself.
If you would like some help dealing with what’s getting triggered for you, or help exploring and possibly transforming your own romantic relationship patterns, our therapists at Evergreen would love to support you.